unfurling the twisted mind

I know you're somewhere out there, 

Maybe in the place I've been before,

Maybe somewhere I've yet to come visit- or settle down in,

Maybe somewhere near me but I'm just too blinded to realize,

Know that as you're reading this, I was writing this with a heavy confusion in my heart,

I have yet to know who you are,

I have yet to know if you really exist,

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder-

If time is really doing its job to make us happen,

If I can hold on any longer to this loneliness that creeps to me almost every night- 

and every bright, rainy, stormy day,

I can't seem to find the light.

They say this isn't a priority,

They say "focus, focus on who you want to be,"

And they don't know that I just want to be me,

I just want to be myself but with someone to hold on to,

Someone to help me fight all this,

Someone I could share my story with,

Someone I could just happily write about,

Instead of sitting here, smoking and writing with an empty heart.

Baby,

Know that as you're reading this,

I've been waiting, for it seems like forever for you to show up,

I've been wondering what you look like,

What we look like,

and I know it's absurd to assume I could and I would be lonely my whole life,

but that's the only thing I could picture myself to be.

and if you've been feeling the same before we meet,

Twisted, lonely, void, empty,

I could swear that we are meant for each other.

March 29, 2018

10.43 pm